Am I the only person who hates Facebook’s “You have Memories to look back on” feature? For starters, it makes that little red notification appear, getting me all excited thinking that maybe someone’s commented on my blog or a long lost friend has got in touch – only to discover that it’s just Facebook rehashing old content. What’s worse though, it’s completely indiscriminate; absolutely any previous post is fair game. So you get irritating anniversary reminders about 38 Degrees petitions you’ve signed or Daily Mash articles you’ve shared… why, just why?? …. along with stuff that you’d probably much rather forget – the time you had tonsilitis, pranged your car or lost your job. Yeah, thanks for the memories, Facebook.
Anyway, the memory Facebook decided to share with me this Saturday was this picture of my then 1YO checking out the Mac 4 years ago:
Adorable, huh? As her 5YO self was cuddled up in bed next to me when I was checking my phone, I showed it to her, saying something like “Look at this cute picture of when you were a baby”…. only to realise that 5 minutes later she was in floods of tears.
Me: What’s the matter sweetie?
5YO: (sobbing) It’s the p…p…picture. It’s so cuuuuuuute….
Me: Well, yes, it is cute. Is the picture making you feel sad?
5YO (sobbing intensifies) Y…y..yes. VERY sad.
Me: (baffled) But why?
5YO: (howling louder than ever at this point) Because I’m not cute anymore. Only little ones are cute. I’m TOO BIG TO BE CUTE!!
Oops. Didn’t see that one coming.
Me: Of course you’re cute Roo. But you’re lots of other things too now that you’re bigger. You’re clever…
5YO: Not clever! Want to be cute!
Me: And you’re kind, and brave, and funny and a fast runner, and…
5YO: Don’t want to be those things! Those things are boring! Want to be CUUUUUTE!!
Eventually I placated her and we carried on with the day. Lessons I’ve learned from this are as follows:
- Context is everything. I’m well aware of Facebook’s memories feature and how it brings random things to my attention. 5YO isn’t, and it must have seemed to her that I was just pulling a random photo out of nowhere to point out how cute she used to be, as an unfavourable comparison to how she is now.
- I am never, ever using the word cute as a compliment to either of my daughters ever again. Not that I think I ever used it much. But the above exchange showed me that 5YO is picking up some unintended subtext about plump-cheeked babyish perfection being a more worthy aspiration than being kind or clever or anything else.
- I now really, really hate Facebook’s memories feature. Anyone know a way I can turn it off?
kirstwrites 
Aww that’s so sweet she wants to be cute but always will be in your eyes. I’m going to check into that feature being turned off i dont know if u can but it does annoy me at times too lol
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Always cute, no matter what she thinks! And i think I found a way to turn that memories feature off on my phone, yippee!!
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Thank god how’d you do it?
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Don’t know if your phone will be set up the same, but at the bottom of the screen i have 5 options … news feed, requests, messenger, notifications and more. If you go to ‘more’ then scroll down you should find ‘on this day’ , select that and there is a settings thing at the top right of the screen which you can turn on or off! Good luck!
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Ohh okay cool I have an iphone6 I believe my FB app has that thanks girl ❤️
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Of course, Facebook will probably turn it back on again for you later, just like they occasionally make all my posts public from time to time, just keeping us on our toes I guess!
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They do that?
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It happened once – it’s possible that I changed some setting by accident I guess, but I dont think I did. Wouldn’t put it past them!
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I love this. Bit like an extension of the ‘oh what a pretty dress’ or ‘what a gorgeous little girl you are ‘ comments so many people make to girls they come across. Makes me thankful the comments Fred gets are usually about his scooter speed. No wonder girls want makeup and pamper parties from such a young age.
Though I am now feeling bad for going through Freddie’s old baby clothes with him in a ‘you were cute and now your sibling will be’ kind of way. No wonder he insisted on trying to put the 3-6 month tigger top on.
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I’m really trying not to call her cute too often… even though she totally is! As is Freddie… would have liked to see him trying on the tigger top, bless him… hope he comes round to the idea of big brotherhood soon!
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