Battle Sounds

k-rawson

photo prompt @Karen Rawson

The roar of machine guns on the ridge dulled as he fell, skidding feet-first down the slope. Suddenly he could hear other sounds again. Men’s distant screams. The trickle of a filthy stream, his boots crunching dead leaves as he struggled to his feet, heart pounding in time with his rasping breath. Damn nerves. He fumbled for a cigarette, as a shell wailed louder overhead.

The old front line was just beyond the ridge. People come now in summer, looking for names on memorials. We still find battle remnants – shell fragments mostly, and once, a cigarette case, blown apart.

My first attempt at a 100-word story for Rochelle Wisoff Fields’ #FridayFictioneers challenge. The muted colours on the ground and the leafless trees in this photo reminded me somehow of sepia-toned images of the First World War. You can check out other people’s stories here.

30 thoughts on “Battle Sounds

  1. Dear Kirstwrites,

    I echo Sandra. The switch from past to present is effective. You had me on the battlefield with him and I felt sad knowing he didn’t make it.

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. It’s only fair to warn you that this is a highly addictive exercise. I joined six years ago and have no plans for ‘recovery.’ 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Hello Rochelle, thanks so much for the feedback. Took me quite a long time to write, despite only being 100 words – remind me not to start at 11pm next time! And what a nice welcome from all the Friday Fictioneers – thank you all! Kirst x

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  2. Welcome, Kirst!
    What a fabulous entry for your first Friday Fictioneers. Loved the past flowing into the present. So very atmospheric. Like Rochelle said, beware… this is very addictive! 😉

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  3. Terrific descriptions in your story. I really like the way you link past and present with the battle remnants and cigarette case. I have only recently joined Friday Fictioneers and I can tell you, it’s addictive!

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  4. And a heartfelt welcome from me too. I love this story. We stare at remnants from the past in museums and try to find the story behind them. You tell the story and let us find the pieces that complete it.

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  5. Pingback: Big Apple: #FridayFictioneers | kirstwrites

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