I picked them up. Turned towards him, my hand outstretched. I’m sure these weren’t here before. That feather… He frowned. Like a dream catcher’s. But much older than the one downstairs. I think you shouldn’t stay here alone. He took my hand. Just until we figure this out. I nodded. (280 characters) If you've just … Continue reading Haunted Coast #60
I strode to the window and pulled back the curtains to a sudden shaft of sunlight. The window was closed, and outside a sheer drop to the ground. On the window ledge something caught my eye. I bent to look closer. Three rusty nails, and a pale brown feather, brittle with age. (277 characters) If … Continue reading Haunted Coast #59
Silence. The crying ceased...
This is an interesting piece. I’m sure I use ‘looked at’ , not only as a cue to direct reader’s attention to some particular object I want to describe, but also as a shorthand for all sorts of non verbal communication between characters. I’m going to look out for this from now on. Thanks Jesse!
The phrase ‘looked at’ is often overused. By this I don’t mean using ‘looked’ as a body language reference, for example, where one character might say something and then another character looks at them without speaking. This, in its own way, is a form of implied description in which the reaction is implied by the circumstances. Perhaps the first character says something disgusting and another character looks at them the implication being it’s a judgemental look that says, ‘I can’t believe you said that’. What I mean is the use of ‘I/he/she/they look at an object’.
At this point you might say, ‘But Jesse my character is looking at an object.’ I’m not going to argue that they aren’t simply that by describing the object we imply the act of looking at it, a character must be looking at an object to describe it. This doesn’t have to be a…
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The door gave way slowly, as if a strong wind were forcing it back.
the moon rose and stripped the earth to its bones...
in praise of the humble cuppa