
Photo from Pixabay.com
By sunset I’d reached the border. The traffic thinned as the road climbed towards the mountains. On the other side, a new life was waiting.
(139 characters)
Written for Kat’s Twittering Tales weekly challenge to come up with a tweet-sized story in response to the photo prompt.
Very nice tale. Not late at all!
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I like it! I tried mentally reversing the order of the first two sentences and thought it produced an interesting effect, but was wondering what you thought of the effect?
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So, instead of “By sunset I’d reached the border. The traffic thinned as the road climbed towards the mountains. On the other side, a new life was waiting.” you’re thinking “The traffic thinned as the road climbed towards the mountains. By sunset I’d reached the border.” – is that right? I think you’re right, that’s actually better!
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I find it fascinating how two well written sentences can become better without changing a word — just by reversing the order. I’ve noticed it in my own work.
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